Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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