Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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