maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
