I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
