shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
