You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
