i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
