Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's never too late to be topless.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
