did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
