how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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