I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
