Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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