Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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