I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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