We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
