Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
