we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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