and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Shame - the story of my life.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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