dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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