I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
