Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
