Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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