Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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