he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
