I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
