Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
