Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
