Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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