i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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