nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
