i permit you to call me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
