They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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