we have pet lesbian snakes
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
