There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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