The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
