i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ugly people sure do ruin things
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
