he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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