The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
