he puts the penis in happiness.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
