She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Pants are for mortals
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
