it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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