If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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