I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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