So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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