Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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