we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
