I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
