booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
