Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
