you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
