I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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