it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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